I'm back in Georgia as of Sunday and have since been getting into the swing of things once again. Greeted by my wonderful roomate and cold weather, it was clear that I was back where I needed to be. It just felt right. I enjoyed my time in Florida so much but what I learned was that I had made the right decision to move and it felt great. It was great to see friends and family but what I realized was that I am not the same person anymore.

 

Leaving Georgia and heading to Florida I had many emotions. I was excited, anxious and for the first time...I didn't know what to expect. It's a funny feeling really, not knowing what to expect when going to the most familar place for you.  I had changed. It was evident to me and has been made clear from the Lord over the last 3 months. But what did that mean when I went home? This hasn't just some mountain top camp experience that has been going on over the last few months...this has been my life.  Without realizing it, I have been redefining myself and who I am and thinking about how this self fits into the Brandon, FL life was a hard concept to grasp.

 

So what is this "self" that I am referring to? This redefined, new, different person? It's a self that knows more about who I am and what my passions are. It's a self that walks more boldly in the life of freedom that God has called me too. A self that doesn't accept lies and self condemnation. 

More than anything I'm not that person anymore.

 

I have come to a huge revelation since being in Georgia.  I have put so much pressure on myself to keep friendships in tact. To make everything turn out right....to not fail at things. 

No more. I'm done.

 

I can't fix people. I can't be everyone's everything. It takes the life from me and there's nothing's left. This has been a hard lesson learned as I tend to take the feelings and concerns of those around me on my shoulders. People matter so much to me and I haven't been able to have the healthy line of friendships that allows me to be a support and a friend rather than a fixer and a counseler. 

 

God by His Holy Spirit does the ultimate conviction and change in a person.

 

So I'm letting go and as I went home this time around, I could see it happening! I wasn't allowing people to lean so much on me that felt empty, I was speaking truth over their lives. I was recognizing the lies that they were living in and pointing them out. Letting them know who they are in Christ, who Christ says they are as His own.  I learned however, that people are not always receptive. They don't readily see the truth of who they are and it's in His word! It was a hard, sad thing. But in that sadness, God has burdened me about prayer. I will pray for those at home who need it and in general remember those at home in prayer.

 

I'm thankful for these things I've seen and changes I've made and I'm excited for more! Has it really only been 3 months?!