I must apologize as I look at this and see that it has been way too long since I’ve written a blog. And as most of my rooomates can attest to, I keep saying “I need to blog, I need to blog, I need to blog.” Although I say this, nothing has happened. The truth is, I think the last week has been a processing one. I desire to share my life and experiences with you. I truly do. But…have you ever felt that there weren’t enough words to accuratley describe what you wanted to say or had to share? That’s how I’ve felt. I decided that the time has been long enough. So here it begins…. The things I’ve learned/been learning will be spread over a few blogs as there is quite a lot to say so bear with me and thanks for tuning in!
It was another typical morning, getting up for work when I hear scrambling outside. “Seth is coming over.” Seth is the director and founder of AIM and we all love him here! But, early in the morning, in a house full of people who are far from morning people, I think it put a little pep in our step. We came to the living room to get ready for our usual prayer time when he started to talk to us about ministry opportunites in the area and the importance of getting involved. Getting involved. Well it was something I’ve thought about and I desire but where? what? and I was getting pretty uncomfortable with this discussion because I didn’t want to talk about it. It’s too much to figure out and where’s my fit and all that stuff….Then it happened, “Teresa, how about you, are you involved anywhere?” Gosh you’re not suppose to ask me about anything! I believe I rambled something off about trying to know the difference between serving out of obligation and serving where your passion is or serving where the need is blah blah blah.
So after we talk and discuss and figure out Seth says, let’s just go. Let’s go look at some areas where opportunity is at and pray. Let’s actually do these things we talk about. So we went. Piled into the car and just drove. Coming upon a bridge, we stepped out of the cars and walked through the high grassy path to an area where some homeless men were saying. “Who wants to go up and pray with them.” What? just like that? no I’ll stay here that’s fine. So we started to pray and I fought in my head, i’m tired and I am having issues and I don’t know what I have to offer these people and I, I, I…..that’s when Jess started to read “ Isaiah61:1-3 The Spirit of the Sovereign LORD is on me, because the LORD has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, [a] 2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion- to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor. That’s it, it hit me like a brick. God’s prescence was so thick there. His desire for the poor and those in need. The value he puts on HIS people and they are HIS. “They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of His splendor.” That’s it. He longs for them, loves them and he wants me of all people to go to them. That He would call me to be somewhat worth enough to speak to these oaks of righteousness. ITo show them their worth and proclaim a the Lord’s favor over their lives! In there lies what I had missing. It’s not about me, or my agenda, what I get out of it. But what others get out of it, how I can reach them, love them and see them as God sees them. Wow, I missed it! And it just made everything I had been thinking about and analyzing over and going back and forth on seem ridiculous and petty. God wants me happy and passionate serving but not at the expense of me doing nothing at all. You can only “agonize” over something for so long. And God started to show me His heart and desires for me. He has me hear to make an impact and it’s time to act!
Then God reminded me of this verse: Jeremiah 22:15-16 15 “Does it make you a king to have more and more cedar? Did not your father have food and drink? He did what was right and just, so all went well with him. He defended the cause of the poor and needy, and so all went well. Is that not what it means to know me?” declares the LORD. I want to know You Lord, I want to know Your heart. I want to know how You see Your people. Break down my walls of pride and self-centeredness. I just want to know You and serve how want me to serve. Thank You for counting me worthy of this call!
