“The heart is good. That is the missing key in most fellowships. Your heart is good, and the others’ hearts are good. This makes it so much easier to trust and to forgive. Whatever may be happening in the moment, whatever the misunderstanding might be, I know that our hearts toward one another are good, and that we are for one another. Craig says something that stings. If I thought, You know, he meant that; he’s trying to hurt me, it would pretty quickly trash the relationship. But I know that is not his heart toward me; that is not who he truly is. If I thought it was, why I’d turn tail and run.” -John Eldridge
One of my roomates shared this excerpt from John Eldridge. This was only part of the whole excerpt but has been ringing in my ear constantly since I’ve read it. “Their heart is good, their heart is good….” I say this over and over in mind latley. Since I’ve been here in Georgia I have been blessed to meet some pretty cool people who love the Lord and speak life into those around them. It is a nice little family really. But like any family their are hard times. Recently I think we’ve been seeing just what it means to make an effort and “choose in.” God has been showing me that this is a choice. Being here in Georgia physcially speaking, emotionally with others and even spiritually is a choice. Loving is a choice, supporting and accepting are choices. Forgiving is a choice…..And the ball is in my court. What am I going to do, how am I going to respond.
Before I left to come to Georgia, I had to confront someone. I typically avoid tough situations and I don’t want deal with conflict. It’s something I have always been told I’d feel better if I did or that was the “right thing to do.” Being that it was right before I was going to leave I wanted to have it resolved….so I did. I was honest and open and apologies were made and then I thought “great, moving on!” Until I came to Georgia and realized…..I still had hurt. I still had resentment. What? Did I do something wrong? Not say all I needed to say? Why is this not resolved?
Then here, I felt a similar situation on the rise, so I thought I’d confront it….and I did. I thought ok so this is how it’s suppose to feel, I got it all out and now I feel great! And the truth was, I did. I felt a release. Then it happened. I was put into an enviornment where old wounds could become raw again, where Satan could really work on my insecurities and there it was, I felt hurt again. I was upset with the person that I had already confronted. What was it that I wanted? more resolution? I said all I had to say already really and at this point if they did all they needed to do too…..so now what?
Choices. Choosing. Being able to seperate the person from the situation and make the decision to “choose in.” Knowing the person’s heart and knowing it is good. It’s a choice, I heard God saying to me. I needed to choose to let this go, choose to move on from these things. I am finding too that it’s a daily choice. A daily choice to forgive. A daily choice to love anyway. A daily choice to support in spite of situations. After all….isn’t that what God does with us? He forgives, loves, supports and comforts us, even when we don’t deserve it. Even when we don’t treat him like he deserves……and isn’t that the point of this “thing” this christian life….to become more like Him? I feel that I am learning about these decisions more and more everyday.
