it was a normal day like any other. The team was heading out to the different ministires. Our team in particular was heading out to the Hope house which is the hospus for the sick and dying. It was like most any other ministry day except that we had just come off of a pretty emotional day the day before.. The day before we had been to the hospital which was pretty tough. It was our first time there and the darkness that hung over that place was almost overwhelming. Everyone was full of despair. The people there were sick and hopeless; no smiles in that place. I had never experienced such darkness and just began to pray like crazy for the people there and our ministry team. Specifically we were in the children's ward praying and visiting with people who probably don't have many visitors. I was a little intimadated at first but as a leader it was time to step up. I was with a group of girls who were terrified looking up with faces of "what do we do?" I can't explain it but God completley moved in me in that situation. I just began to model talking to people and praying with them. I look back and think, "Really? did I do that? Did I prayer walk through a destitute hospital and pray with sick children?" It was really an emotionally heavy day for us.
Coming into this new day at the Hope House, I challenged the girls to not be defeated and that God can still work in your brokenness. In fact, that's when He works best, when we are week He is strong! So we walked through the area from house to house, knocking and going into these houses to sit with, talk with and pray with people. It was exciting to see the girls step up and pray even though it was uncomfortable. They were being pushed and it was good.
There was a woman in particular that we came to. Her name was Catherine. She was so sweet. She was a christian woman who loved the Lord and was so encouraging. She was staying there with her father who was very ill. They weren't sure what it was but he was in bed and couldn't move. This would be our second time visting her after coming before and praying and visiting with her. The time before that we had visited her was so sweet. We brought a guitar with us and Sarah played while we sang. She was joyful. We were her sisis (sisters). We came to her on this day and she smiled so wide, happy to see us. As she greeted us she said "look" and pointed. Who did we see? Her father, sitting outside in his chair smiling and talking! It was such a blessing to be able to sit outside and talk to her and her family.
(Houses we visitied) (Catherine in black sitting down, Father by her)
I don't believe in coincidences. I believe in God appointments and that He knows excactly what we need. We had had a rough day previously but through and through he showed His faithfulness in providing encouragement through this family and this woman of God. I will never forget Catherine and the way she called us her sisters and was so excited to see us. I miss her and think of her often. It was a very hard goodbye but I know that He has her and her family in His hands. It was such a testimony of how God works out the details of EVERY situation!!
It's been a few days over a month since I have returned from Swaziland and what a whirlwind! I look back over the last few weeks and it's easy to feel like I can't even recall what has happened. In the course of a month alone I have had to say goodbye to 3 groups of people, talk about transition! Saying by to my team in Swaziland as well as the Swazi people was hard to do.
I don't think I realized just how hard it was until I left and started to do life without them, without being in Swaziland. It's been fun to keep up with them through email, facebook and random texts but it's not the same. God has been allowing me time to process and has been bringing things to mind that I need to deal with and think through. It's hard to explain but after getting back I was having a really hard time. I wanted to talk about it, but I didn't. Reliving the experiences were good and bad. I realize that talking about it is good and it does help(just like everyone said! lol). More to come on this in the following blogs- stories from Swaziland!
Upon returning to Gainesville, there were SO many changes and I think it really shook me up. Trying to process what happened in Swazi and then get back to "normal" whatever that means. I had to switch gears and begin to think about saying by to my GA family. Wow! After family vacation in the mountains it was time for a little getaway in the mountains with my comife family. We stayed in an amazing cabin the mountains and had a great time talking about the past year, what's to come and just hanging out with one another! It was a bittersweet time as we prayed for one another and spent time together white water rafting and playing games.
As we left, we headed back to the office to give our supervisors and mentors gifts that we had made them. When we reached we were greeted with a "SURPRISE!" The AIM staff were there to greet us with a pizza party that was full of prayer for each of us, laughs and one last fun time to spend with them.
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It was a great time and I felt very grateful for the family that I had made at AIM. I am truly blessed to know them and have worked with them. I headed out on Friday morning (the 31st) and gave my hugs and byes to all my roomates. Iit was a little surreal, and like Africa it probably won't hit me until a few weeks from now when I am settled into Wheaton and realizing how much I had and that I am doing life without them. But I am sure that God, just as He is doing now, will give me some way to process and think through those tough things that get brought to mind and though it would be hard to re live and talk about some things, it will all be for the best.
What a great year this has been! I am so blessed that God gave me this year as an opportunity for new growth and experiences. My time with AIM is up but my time as a servant and as more of who God has made me will never end. Thanks to all of you who have been following me during this year. I'l still have this blog when I go to Wheaton and hope to update you with what is going on there!
Allow me to introduce to you the girl in my picture. (to your left, my main picture) Her name is Sheshlay(not how you spell it at all I am sure, but how it sounds) she was "my girl" Although we loved all the kids at the carepoint she was the one I spent the most time with and would run up to me everytime we entered the Care point. I loved her! She was ALWAYS singing. We sang a lot of songs together and she even taught me a few. I really believe she knew Jesus loved her too. I really hope that some of the girls from the team put up videos soon so you can see her in action! She was on my mind so I thought I'd write about her and post some pics of her. She is beautiful ay? I miss her alot and thought that I would share her with you all! Thanks Autumn and Sarah for some of these pics!
At the Care point the kids were as cute and precious as ever. The same we had been with all week. We did a bible study with the younger and older kids. They both went really well. It was cool to see the team step up into leadership roles with the kids. I enjoyed getting to see them flourish, step out and see what they are capable of and have it "click." It was a great time.
Shortly after, a little girl came to the carepoint that day. She had her little sister on her back. She was too young to have to be carrying her sister. Heartbreaking. Her little sister had no underwear on, nose running, wheezing, eyes glazed, blank stare. What do I do? There had to be something right? The Mage(pronounced ma-gay, means mother in Si Swati) just said, "oh she is just needy." Needy? That's it? I had no cold medicine at the time, my cell wasn't working to call Tonya to bring some. All I could do was look in my purse, all I saw was this colorful hankerchief, pink, yellow and white for my hair. I tied it around her to make some kind of underwear. One of the girls helped me give her cold medicine that someone else had on them. She just stood there and drank it. It was probably the best thing she tasted in awhile. I just sat there and stroked her hair and held her hand. There was nothing else I could really do. My heart sank as she got on her sister's back again and they walked back home.
I remember that day that I got away for a second where no one was at and just cried. I felt so helpless. The reality of this place sank deep. But God quickly showed me that sometimes that is all that is needed. Someone to hold them and to love them. To just show them love right where they are at and allow Him to use me in whatever capacity for that moment in time. After traviling and so much walking barefoot down rough roads they need rest. Just needed somone to love on them in some way. It was so hard, I wanted to go into my fix it mode and bring all the "American solutions" let's clothe her and feed her and take her to the doctor. But those are all just physical things. Where does she live? Does she have a family? What happens after she leaves? Really I don't know if I came to any resolution or if I ever really do. I think I just become ok with the fact that I loved the one in front of me the best I could and even if for just a moment was Jesus to that girl.
We arrived to Swaziland, in an area called Manzini, which is the city, with our 11 participants on a Friday. We were blessed with a great house. It had electricity and water most of the time. I stayed in a room with bunk beds with the girls. (Mine is the top one on the right)
As leaders we were busy trying to set things up. The leaders were me, Doyle and Tonya. Doyle and Tonya brought their 4 kids(8,10,13 and 15) with them and they were part of the team. It ended up being a good dynamic. They jumped into ministry just like the rest of the team. It was great to see! Upon settling into Manzini we were finally able to meet up with AIM staff and had 3 specific ministries laid out for us. We split the team into three groups, with a leader in each group and began the rotation.
The three ministires were: Hope house- This was a Hospice. We could go and visit with the sick or dying and pray with them and just bring love to them. It was cool because it was like visiting these people at their house. We would knock and almost all of them would let us in and we would begin to spend time with them for however long. (usually 12-2pm)
Hospital- This was a hospital like no other. It was nothing like our hospitals here in the states. You walk in and there are just beds all over the place. Where our team spent time in was the children's ward. We would approach people to ask them if they would like prayer or just talk with them. Some of our team would go over to the malnutrition unit and spend time with the moms and babies there. It was unreal, these premature babies that weighed 2 and 3 lbs that were not in incubators. (this was also a 12-2pm time period)
Carepoint- This is a center kind of. It is a place where kids in the community can come to and get a meal and education. There are Gogos(grandmothers) who make the meal for the day and a teacher to teach the kids. We go and just love on them. Play with the kids, help the gogos with the meal, or help them clean or help teach a bible lesson. This carepoint was about a block from the house so we usually would walk there. One team would go there and spend the whole day and the other teams would meet up and finish out the day at the carepoint til around 4 or 4:30.
So much happened in each of these areas of ministry. I will attempt to tell you what I can and as much as I can. I admitt that it is taking a lot to share. It's the weirdest feeling. I want to share but at the same time I don't. I need to share though, these stories need to be told and Swaziland needs to be kept alive. It's hard though beacuse I can feel really detached and just like no one will ever get it. But I want you to get it, and how will people get it if they don't know and aren't told? So this is what I got and it's me processing as I write it so thanks for your grace with me as I stumble through words, thoughts and experiences!
Hello everyone! Well I am home. I got back into Georgia on Monday morning and what a time of adjustment it has been. I got in at around 7:30am and after seeing that my team made if off to their connecting flights I went to check in at the hotel AIM had set up for leaders to debreif. The next day or so consisted of us talking about our time in our locations, resting and having some down time. I got back to the house in Gainesville Tuesday night and have been sleeping and lounging ever since. It's been such a weird transition not being with my team or in Swaziland. I miss the people so much and already want to go back! I hope to share with you specific stories over the next few weeks but I have to be honest right now I am still wading through it and processing it all. So for now, I can promise you pictures to come and many stories. I will leave you with this. This is where I am at right now. I wrote this when i got in on Monday. Please stay tuned more will be coming in the next week! In the meantime keep me and my team in your prayers as we are trying to adjust. Also for my suppport. I didn't raise all that was needed before I left and need to have it payed off before I leave in July. Thanks!
Here's what I wrote:
Now that I am back in the states I'd love to share a little of my heart with you. The past month with this team has been truly amazing. It has been nothing that I expected and everything that I could have ever wanted or needed. As I sit here writing this I am currently in a well air conditioned hotel, getting ready for leader debrief, on a double bed at about 5:30pm. It's crazy how things can seemingly change in an instant. I can't believe I am home.
It is now 11:30pm in Swaziland. I think about Doyle and Tonya(the other leaders) settling in back at the house with the kids. The ambassador team(high school team) had their first day of ministry today, and probably met the kids! I hope they saw my little girl SheShay(that's how it sounds, not how it's spelled!) I hope she got a lot of loving and that she serenaded them with her songs and giggles! Oh my heart is heavy for these kids today. What did they do and how are they? I am grateful though that they have a team to come in and love on them!
So here I am back in the states. Touched down around 7am and back into the hustle and bustle we were. It's funny because for most of the trip we would dream up and imagine what being home would be like. What would be our first meal? Who would we see first? Would we just want to talk about all our experiences right away or maybe just cry because we miss those kids and our team? Well, in my first 10 hours I have had McDonalds for my first meal. (not as good as I was counting on but YAY for sweet tea!) I have talked with my parents and best friends and really find that I can't even begin to put into words all that I feel or have experienced and already, I miss the people I met like crazy!
I find that I may have dreamt about home in Swazi all the time but here, I will dream about Swazi. It seems that maybe home is a bit more of a loser term now because part of my heart will be in Swazi forever and I really do think, at the risk of sounding cheesy, that home is where the heart is. So, my challenge and the challenge for the team is to keep swazi alive in our hearts and minds and bring the news of what is going there to those around us. Keep the news of Swazi alive, share stories. pictures, videos, tears and laughs no matter how hard it is! To let people know what God did and is doing and remember home in Swazi with the team and with the people there.
Thanks for your continued prayers. We are moving right along. This week has definatley had it's shares of ups and downs. We experienced a few tough days of ministry spiritually speaking. It was a real test for us to stand firm in the power of Christ and our team pushed through! Along with that came great victories! We had some awesome converstaions with the Swazis this week loving and praying for them. Please contiue to lift us up in prayer!
Can't believe we will be leaving next weekend. What a great time it has been! Well, gonna head out. Time is almost up on the comp. Heading to a safari today too!! it will be fun :)
I am at the AIM offices here in Swazi. It's about 11:30am. Today we are in town for a little while longer and then we are going on a hike through some beautiful African terrain. I can't believe it's already been a week. I am a little surprised. Maybe it's still all a little surreal. I just wonder when it will really hit me? I know it begn to when I thought I was walking into oncoming traffic but it was just that they drive on the left. Then I thought it was when I couldn't always flush the toilet, I need to let it fill up. Or maybe when the sink clogged and we had a flood in the kitchen. Or maybe when electricity decides to go out!
Our days mainly consist of ministry. It is on Africa time though which has been an adjustment in and of itself! When you say 10 it means 12. When you say soon it means later and you don't make any promises if you can help it! Our days do usually start around noon. We head out to the care point where we play with the kids. We run around with them, jump rope, play soccer or just hold them because they don't ever get any kind of love or attention at all. They are all ages from baby to 15. We also get to help the go-gos (the grandmothers who usually run the carepoints) make the lunch, clean up or lead bible lessons. It's amazing what they have to do every single day! We usually get back to the house around 5pm and do dinner and team stuff. It works out pretty well with saturdays as our day off together.
The reality of my experiences here may never fully be realized until I get home. At this time I think I am still processing. Seeing orpans running excitedly to food.....spoiled food at the dump. Or a 5 year old carrying a 2 or 3 year old on her back with only a top on who is wheezing. My heart wants more for them. I want to just do do do. But me just being there with them to hug and sit with them is enough, and I am ok with that.
The team is great. Keep praying as colds are running through the team. I am finally just getting over mine! But the team is really stepping up and pushing through it. They are leading bible lessons with the kids, helping out wherever there is need and really loving on the people of Swazi.
I'll try to update again before we leave. I am not always guarenteed communication but I will try. Thanks for your prayers. God is clearly at work here!
